It feels really special to be a mom. That is, until you zoom out and look at moms through a wide angle lens and realize how many fucking moms exist on this earth. Moms are everywhere. Literally. There’s always at least 455 of them inside a single Target at one time, and you can’t drive down a street without seeing, at minimum, one mom pushing a stroller down a sidewalk while attempting to move as much as she did before having children.

Whether you have children or not, you’re the product of someone who had a child, therefore making parenthood truly the most average thing on earth. But do parents feel this way? Do moms feel this way?

Before I became a mom, I really thought that one day I would be a realistic mother who understood that her children were not the Greatest Things To Ever Exist On This Planet. But then I gave birth to my daughter and every day for the first year or so of her life, my husband and I could be found in awkward positions on the ground taking photos of her doing something highly underwhelming while screaming, “You’re the most talented girl in the world!!! You’re so special!!!!!” We still do this. Like how does one go from writing a literal book with the underlying premise that bitches are not unique to having a child and concluding that she is the most unique human being to ever walk this earth even though she is an actual carbon copy of every other toddler out there??????

I’ll tell you how.

Because I am a mom. And moms are average as fuck.

Even though 26-year-old me might be angry at my 35-year-old self for falling into this trap, I am so happy to be here. Here’s why being an average mom is the best, “no cap.” Can I say that? I heard it’s not cool anymore, so this average mom WILL.

1. Average moms give no fucks.

I used to care a lot about a lot of things before I had my daughter. Now I don’t have time to care about those things. Would I still care if I had time? Maybe! But I don’t so we can move on.

2. Average moms know they can’t do it all, so they don’t try.

I used to do everything. Now, I physically can’t, and that’s okay. If I don’t have time to do something, I accept it and move on. I prioritize and do the best I can. Sometimes I feel bad about the things I don’t do, but also, there’s no time to care so I just… don’t!!! Oh well.

3. Average moms really do think their kids are the greatest gift on earth because to them, they are, and this brings them so much joy.

And they could give two shits if anyone (or, umm, everyone else) thinks otherwise.

4. Average moms never feel bad about asking for help and are grateful when they get it.

And sometimes angry when they don’t, and that’s fine too.

5. Average moms don’t have the time or energy to read about parenting, so they just wing it, which makes for a lot less anxiety.

What am I doing? I don’t know. And I don’t care! The parenthood anthem.

6. Average moms spend a lot of time worrying that their kids aren’t enrolled in enough activities, so much so that they no longer have time to worry about stupid problems in their own lives!!

Truly recommend putting real life on the back burner so you can spend all of your time and anxiety on minor toddler issues.

7. Average moms no longer care about their weight because they’ve literally been all the weights.

My closet has more sizes than a small boutique. XS to XXL. We’ve been every size. We are more versatile than most clothing stores in the 2000s. I don’t know if this is average, but it makes me feel better to think it is so I will!

8. Average moms make sure to leave time for themselves, even if it’s just a few minutes, because they know most things can wait.

THE MOST LIBERATING REALIZATION IN THE WORLDDDDDDDDDDD.

Author

Hi! I'm a 30-something mom who is part of the SPICE GIRLS GENERATION aka an older millennial. This is my new website Forever Millennials! I’m the author of Average is the New Awesome: A Manifesto for the Rest of Us, a humorous self-help book that was published in 2020 by Seal Press/Hachette, and the person behind the Instagram account @averagepeopleproblems. Before launching this site, I ran the website Forever Twenty Somethings for many years. My work can be seen on Parents, USA TODAY, Women’s Health, HuffPost, Cosmopolitan, Reviewed, Seventeen, Good Housekeeping, and more. I live in a suburb outside Boston, MA with my husband, toddler, and 300 pounds of clothes I have been saying I need to post to Poshmark for the past 3 years.

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